Once again, Gwyneth Paltrow has released an extensive holiday gift guide that can only be described as very, very, Goop.
While the 46-year-old actress certainly includes affordable ideas in her shopping guide — and even some suggestions for toys, books, accessories, and gadgets that a wide swath of the population might like — she's also infamous for packing her lists with items that read simply as out-of-touch.
This year's guide includes some outrageously-priced presents — like trips, diamond jewels, and even a yacht — as well as some that are just plain bizarre, like gold rolling papers and a hygge swing.
The most noteworthy items in Gwynnie's gift guide aren't necessarily the ones with the biggest price tags — but they are ones with price tags that seem inordinately high for what's being offered.
It's safe to say, for instance, that few people would think $150 is a a reasonable amount to pay for a matchbox, even if it is made of pewter.
There, Gwyneth and her Goop editors recommend a $7,700 Hermes surfboard, a $240 Apparatus pill container, and the chance to be 'muse for a day' for Saatchi Art photographer Miss Aniela in London, to the tune of $150,000.
There's also an Aston Martin (price upon request), an $820 Apparatus incense burner, Louis Vuitton pajamas, trips to Iceland and Everest, and even a yacht — which is also price upon request, with the clear message being, if you have to ask, you can't afford it.
Aquaman, is that you? These $30 Darkfin webbed gloves might not be expensive, but they will make any man look like a sea creature — which is also pretty odd
Really? Many of the items make it hard to conceive who, exactly, needs these things, like a $225 Hygge swing (left) or a $7,700 Hermes surfboard (right)
On the lower end are the no less outrageous Seletti banana lamp for $340, 24k gold rolling papers for $55, and even a vanity phone number (prices vary, with the most expensive 212 number currently going for $250,000).
The shopping guide for 'collectors,' meanwhile, also has quite a few items that would make most non-multimillionaires wonder, 'Who would buy that?'
There are $340 antique theater glasses, a $249 'luxury' game of Clue, those $150 Match Pewter matches, a $725 Wonder Valley cutting board and knife, and a $1,000 family crest.
For $195, shoppers can buy a Chris Earl Tic Tac Toe set with wooden blocks, and $3,499 will buy a Stellina Smart Telescope.
More expensive, unnecessary, and otherwise outrageous gifts pop up in each of the categories, which are broken down for kids, cooks, hosts, travelers, wellness junkies, guys, and 'one and onlys'.
Not complete without bling! There is quite a bit of jewelry in the guide, including a $20,900 Van Cleef & Arpels bracelet (left) and $22,560 Vram earrings (right)
If you don't want jewelry: Why not wear your bling in the form of this $890 rhinestone-encrusted hoodie from No. 21
Got everything else? The 'Ridiculous but Awesome' guide features $55 24K gold rolling papers (right), while the $3,499 Stellina Smart Telescope (left) was suggested for 'collectors'
This despite Gwyneth's claims that she learned to not be spoiled after her parents insist she make it on her own at 18.
'People think, "She’s just a rich kid." Until I was 18, I was. Then I was broke,' she told Glamour in 2016.
'Sometimes I’ll get annoyed if someone’s like, "Goop is so expensive." I’m like, "Have you looked at the website? Have you seen the range of price points? ’Cause we sell things that are $8,"' she went on.
While that's true, it's the overwhelming presence of pricey pieces that have caught many readers' eyes — and seem to stick out in this gift guide.
For the traveler, Goop suggests a $1,700 Rimowa suitcase, a $180 Stow clear 'essentials' pouch for flying — to use instead of a disposable plastic bag — and a $70 eye mask.
More! Also suggested are this Grace Souky marble cake stand (pictured) and a $350 set of six La DoubleJ dessert plates are better ideas.
The gift that keeps on costing: For fitness lovers, there's the $1,495 Mirror, a 'nearly invisible interactive home gym' that streams workouts with a trainer and gives live feedback. But that price is just for the piece of tech itself — it also requires a $39/month membership
There's also, naturally, a Surf Air private plane membership starting at $1,950 per month, and a Four Seasons Hawaii volcano adventure that costs $39,500 for four people.
Other odd items to pop up include a $225 Hygge swing, a $3,000 a night stay at The Brando resort in Tahiti, a $126,888 private jet experience in Aman, Jordan, and a 10 oz truffle fro $195.
Typically, gifts for a host or hostess are token items that don't cost too much, like a bottle of wine or a box of chocolates.
But Goop thinks a $360 Grace Souky marble cake stand, a $496 Kendra Scott serving tray, and a $350 set of six La DoubleJ dessert plates are better ideas.
So many of the items are so outrageous, in fact, that her lover's gift guide — which includes lingerie, a whip, and five different vibrators — feels like old hat.
For men, she likes $30 Darkfin webbed gloves that will make any man look like a sea creature, a $260 box of 16 pairs of socks, and a $52 razor.
Other odd items to pop up include a $126,888 private jet experience in Aman, Jordan and a 10 oz truffle fro $195 (pictured)
See ya! There is one seriously big-ticket items for teenagers called 'High School in the Netherlands' starting at $10,690
There's plenty of clothing, too, with expensive cashmere scarves and sweaters and pricey pajamas and outerwear. Standing out among them are an $890 No. 21 hoodie, an $825 Ulla Johnson pullover, $425 Retrofete sequined pants, and a $15,000 secondhand Hermes Birkin.
On the jewelry front, she likes a $20,900 Van Cleef & Arpels bracelet, $22,560 Vram earrings, and other pieces that cost thousands by David Yurman, Sara Weinstock, Bob's Watches, Nak Armstrong and Venyx.
For fitness lovers, there's the $1,495 Mirror, a 'nearly invisible interactive home gym' that streams workouts with a trainer and gives live feedback. But that price is just for the piece of tech itself — it also requires a $39/month membership.
Luckily, items for kids are mostly appropriate, though there is one seriously big-ticket items for teenagers called 'High School in the Netherlands' starting at $10,690.
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While the name makes it sound like telling your kids at Christmas that you're sending them to an oversees boarding school, it's actually a short study abroad program for teens.
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